What I'm reading Now - books on making baby food!

My Husband -whoiloveverymuch- and I continue our quest to be throw-backs to the 70's... or at least that is what it feels like when we compare our parenting style to friends who have little one's Sweet Pea's age.  We seem to be the only ones using cloth diapers... We seem to be the only ones using an alternate vaccine schedule...  We seem to be the only ones who have NEVER fed our child formula.  And we seem to be the only ones that are making our own baby food.  (This has turned out to be a good choice for us... because Sweet Pea can EAT.  And at only 6 months - he is already well on his way to eating us out of house and home!)

When we shared our choice to make baby food with Sweet Pea's pediatrician, she recommended a fabulous book.  I'm still working my way through it - but it is a great reference for anyone  planning to make food for their baby.  I especially like information on making my own baby cereal. I would have NEVER thought to make my own cereal. I never even considered that Gerber baby cereal is just over-processed CRAP.  The author's recipes use organic, whole grains and even add in protein over time.  She also discusses what foods to feed your baby first - and how to add in new foods over time.  This book has been invaluable!  It's my go-to reference for Sweet Pea's diet.

And while I like this book and it's obviously a staple for making baby food -- (been reprinted about a million times since it first cam out in the 80's)... some of the information is a little TOO granola for me.  Brewer's yeast?  First- what IS it?  And second, the author says it tastes bad!  But I should still add it in to my baby's food... I'm not quite sure I'm on the band wagon with that one quite yet... But as I said, I'm still reading... so I'll keep you posted.

Another book that has been a great compliment to Super Baby Food has been Baby Love.  The book is relatively new to the market... and I really enjoy the recipes in this book - not because they are so ingenious - Really, any dummy could probably figure out how to make fruit or veggie purees.... But because it gives me a jumping off point for other things I can try.  This book has also provided information on freezing and storage options for baby food.  The photos and colors give this book an "appeal" that Super Baby Food doesn't have.  In combination, these two books have been a great starting point for having fun with baby food!

Making your own baby food is super easy - and in the space of an hour or two, you can make enough food to feed most babies for a month (Sweet Pea is not "most" babies). Think of the money you save making your own food - not to mention avoiding baby food jars overwhelming your house!  We've had loads of fun teaching Sweet Pea to love food - and to be a part of the process of making his food.  I can't wait to continue our food adventure with our future "foodie"!

Oh, How life has changed...

Tomorrow, October 7, marks 6 months since Sweet Pea entered the world.  Six months since my life was forever changed.  It's a bit unbelievable how quickly the time has gone.  Perhaps this is because I have been a sleepwalking zombie through most of this time...  To mark the occasion of my son's 6 month anniversary on the planet, I thought I would take a little time to reflect...

Some would argue that life began changing the moment I found out that I was preggo with Sweet Pea.  In many ways I would agree. Gone were the late nights out -- hanging out with friends, drinking wine and listening to live music...  Mostly, life changed because I was hugging the toilet or so dead tired that I was in bed by 8 pm.  Once Sweet Pea arrived life changed in much more unpredictable ways. 

I remember coming home from the hospital with this weight of RESPONSIBILITY.  I needed to protect this little person -- who I loved so unconditionally.  I wasn't prepared for the emotions.  And I was scared that I would fall down on the job.  The weirdest post- pregnancy experience for me has been how TV shows affect me.  I watched a lot of TV during my pregnancy -- A LOT.  (kindof hard to do much else when you feel puky all day long... ) My "go-to" tv-shows were Crime TV:  CSI, murder mysteries... but Criminal Minds was my all-time favorite.  Upon returning home from the hospital - I found that I couldn't watch these shows.  To be honest, 6 months later I STILL can't watch most of them.  I find the violence alarming... scary -- what if that were me?  My child?  Can I really provide everything that Sweet Pea needs... and how do I make sure nothing horrible EVER happens to him?  These days if I'm watching TV,  I'd rather watch shows that make me laugh... not shows that scare me to death!

When we first came home from the hospital, I remember thinking that I wasn't sure how I was going to fit all the new "responsibilities" into my day... how would I find time to do laundry, feed, clothe, bathe Sweet Pea -- and still get out the door (fed, clothed, and bathed myself...)  I worried I wouldn't get it all done - and especially worried that once Sweet Pea was eating solid food that it would become impossible...   Somehow, we've found a way to make it work -- and survive.  And for the life of me I can't remember what filled up my days before Sweet Pea was here.   Well I do remember having time to run... I haven't figured out how to fit that back in.  But trust me, I wasn't running 5 hours a day, so there MUST have been other things I enjoyed doing...

Looking back at photos (and videos) of Sweet Pea over the past few months it's crazy to see how much HE has changed.  It doesn't feel like there has been a lot of growth... until I look back from day one until now.  I'm glad that we have great documentation... it helps me remember... I just wish there was a way to physically document my emotional process... I don't know that I felt like a grown-up before Sweet Pea.  But I sure do now.

A difficult topic - worth discussing

A friend recently posted a link on her Facebook page to an organization called Intact America.  The organization promotes the banning of circumcision in America.  While I am still checking out the website, myself, and can't vouch for the authenticity of the organization... I do think that circumcision - while difficult - is an important decision for parents to weigh before the birth of a child.  It was a conversation that my husband - whoIloveverymuch - and I took the time to have.

I realize that the decision to not circumcise or to circumcise may not be an easy one.  There are religious, cultural, and personal reasons behind the decision.  We made the decision that Sweet Pea would not be circumcised for a number of reasons.  My guess is that some of the reasons at the top of my list were not the same reasons at the top of my husband's list... But in the end, we were on the same page.

My main reasons had to do with the circumcision being a surgical procedure that occurs without anesthesia.  This painful procedure seems more cosmetic than medically necessary.  I could not bear to cause my child undue pain for a cosmetic procedure.  I certainly couldn't be there to watch something like this occur and did not want him to be in pain for days afterward.

There are some that will say circumcision helps with cleanliness and reduces the possibility of infection.  I disagree and feel that boys can be taught to keep their bits clean -- without the need for circumcision.

Do I worry that he might be teased by his peers?  Sure - but I have heard that more and more parents are making the decision to not circumcise.  And I don't believe that peer pressure - should be my main reasons for decisions regarding my child.  I'm hoping that he stands out in a crowd of his peers in a number of ways.  I guess we can just add this one to our (mental) list.

Whatever your thoughts on this issue -- I believe that the Intact America Website provides some useful information that is thought provoking and sure to be a good jumping off point for conversations... I'll be curious to hear your thoughts, insights, and opinions on the issue and the information that Intact America provides.

Baby Food Fun

We have entered the solid food phase of baby raising here in the Brooke Frances & Family household.  That's right, folks -- Sweet Pea is eating rice cereal and an assorted array of fruits and veggies - and we can't seem to shovel the food into him fast enough.

At first he was a very timid eater -- he didn't seem all that interested in cereal, or anything solid.  So I gave up and figured we would try it again in a month or so... and then suddenly, it was like we just couldn't keep this guy full with his liquid diet.  Back to the solids we went... thinking that it would be the same thing all over again.  WRONG.

This guy likes to EAT.  Rice cereal, banana, sweet potatos.  We event tried peaches.  Guess what.  He doesn't like peaches.  Now HOW can an infant not like peaches?  Of all fruits? They are sweet, juicy, orange -- what is not to like?  Sweet Pea made a face, gagged, made a face again -- gagged and then hurled peaches and rice cereal all over himself and the floor.  So at 8:00 in the morning we headed off to throw him in the tub and hose off breakfast.  I thought to myself -- what a waste of a truly great fruit.

I love peaches, absolutely love them... so clearly this cannot be my child. Dammit - tomorrow we're trying those peaches again...

The Results are In...

So I have spent a bit of time this evening playing with the ipad... and I have decided that it really just isn't for me. As much as it can be a pain to haul my laptop to work and back every day... I really do love having my laptop at home. The ipad just doesn't cut it. While it has some OK features... I have decided I'm not a fan of the touch screen. I type much faster with a keyboard. And if I'm writing, I want to be able to type as fast as my brain is moving. I can't do that on a touch screen. (not to mention that after 10 minutes the scree looked so DISGUSTING and DIRTY!!!)

I can't upload my flipshare videos straight to the ipad, which is a big drawback to me. What? No uploading vidoes of Sweet Pea to Facebook?! I think NOT.

And here I thought that I would be happy to leave my computer at work. Nope. I think I'll be happier dragging it around. (I'll just view it as a good workout!)

Basically, I'd just rather have all the features on my laptop - so I might as well continue hauling the laptop around - or save up and buy a smaller laptop for home. So -- the ipad is going back to the store... to me, it just isn't worth the money for the limited features. Guess I will look into getting that Kindle thing after all!

Testing the waters

Just bit the bullet and bought an iPad... Thought I would try this out to see about this whole tablet craze... not sure what I think yet. I thought this might allow me to avoid lugging my laptop to work and back... But there are a few features that may not translate... For example, typing is a pain, and kinda slow... Facebook chat seems non existant... Not all website look amazing... Anyone else have an opinion?

The Summers of my Youth

Tonight I have been reflecting on the summers of my childhood. Summer makes me think of camping. Not the "Colorado" kind of camping that my husband forces me into... where you strap a backpack and 50 pounds of gear and food on your back and climb up and over 14,000 ft hills... The Wisconsin kind of camping... where you throw everything you own into small tin trailer and drag it behind your truck... This was the camping of my youth, and I LOVED it.

My grandma and grandpa D. have been camping since before I was born. They owned multiple variations of a Mallard trailer and would camp most weeks of the summer months. For one lucky week, each of the grandkids were able to tag along. There are 5 of us grandchildren -- and we would spend most of the spring in deep discussions attempting to determine the ideal camping combination -- who was going to go camping with one another, and what was the best week to go?

The weeks prior to camping, we would get our "gear" ready. Make sure our bike was in working order. Hit the library for some reading material. Make sure the Uno and Skipbo were packed. Use our allowance money on a combination of candy and gum. And make sure that Grandma and Grandpa had packed the cereal... the Kellog's variety pack of tiny cereal boxes that would allow us to sample all of our favorite sugar cereals -- the kind that Mom NEVER allowed us to eat at home.

We camped at J.W. Wells State Park in Upper Michigan. It was a three hour drive from home -- with several key roadside attractions that indicated our progress on the drive. The A&W where we stopped for lunch. The GIANT chicken statue in Peshtigo, WI; and the statue of horses pulling a trailer full of logs that indicated we were leaving WI and entering the promised land of the U.P.

J.W. Wells State Park will always hold a special place in my heart. I've probably biked more miles in that park than anywhere else in my entire life. It was always a contest to see who could put the most miles on their bike during the week of camping. There were times that we topped 100 miles... peddling around in circles for hours at a time each day...and on a 3 speed.

There were nightly campfires with stories and s'mores. And pudgie pies. Who knew that cherry pie filling and white bread could be so satisfying when heated over the coals of a campfire?

But, really, the best part of my summer camping experience was spending time with my grandma and grandpa. I'm not sure I knew it back then -- but I certainly realize it now. In that week each summer, I had a chance to spend quality time with my grandparents. I will forever carry the memories of my time with them in my heart. It was during those summer trips that I realized my dad probably got his temper from my Grandpa. (They both liked to yell, and for some reason I was usually on the receiving end of a really loud lecture. The most memorable was when I threw a frisbee into some poison ivy. Can't say Grandpa was too pleased... he doesn't remember the conversation that followed. But I'll never forget). I also learned that my Grandma wasn't as patient as she liked to let on... and pigtails and braids were not her strong suit. But she tried. (SIT STILL. IF YOU WOULD STOP FIDGETING THIS WOULD GO FASTER. IT HURTS TO BE BEAUTIFUL, THAT'S WHY I NEED TO PULL SO HARD TO GET THESE BRAIDS IN.)

The nostalgia is bittersweet. First because my Grandma is slowly losing her memory. I realize I now need to remember these days for the both of us. And second because I'm struggling knowing that my son will most likely not have these same experiences or the same kind of relationship with my parents. I was so lucky to have such a close relationship with my Grandma and Grandpa... and much of that was because we lived in close proximity. But now here I am in Colorado. And my mom and dad -- Sweet Pea's Grandma and Grandpa D. -- live far away in Wisconsin. They talk to him on the phone, I send photos and video. We visit as much as we can... but it's not the same... and it's not near enough. And it breaks my heart to know that it's not enough for them, either. My husband's family is here -- we are lucky to have such great family in Colorado to be a part of Sweet Pea's life... And I love my life and I love the home I've made in Colorado... but I feel guilty knowing how my decisions have impacted MY parent's ability to know their grandchild.

So tonight... as I reflect upon the summers of my youth... I realize that I have an important job to do. I have to teach Sweet Pea about the family I hold dear and make sure that he has every opportunity to be involved with them. I want him to be able to tell stories about the time he spent with his Grandma and Grandpa D. I hope that those stories include fishing, and camping, and s'mores, and summertime in Wisconsin... and I hope that those stories are some of the best memories of his childhood, too.

The value of unlikely friendships - this one is for my homie, Howie

My friend Jose likes to tell me "You don't pick your homies, your homies pick you."

Let me explain... for those readers that may be unfamiliar with the term "homie"; A homie is someone who seeks you out as a friend... someone who YOU might not normally seek out to be your friend - but for some reason this other person really values their connection to you. We all have a homie - sometimes more than one.

I'd like to tell you about my homie, Howie.

I first met Howie a number of years ago through a work-based professional development opportunity. We were in the inaugural year of a leadership program at the college where we both work. It was immediately obvious that Howie and I have little in common. He is faculty. I am staff. He's old enough to be my dad. I'm the same age as his son. He is a seasoned professional. I am fairly fresh. He is a RIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT Wing Republican. I lean more left. He is Jewish. I am... not Jewish. He is outspoken. I am quiet and reserved.

Ok - that last part is not true. Really the only thing we have in common is we both are fearless in speaking our mind. Which is probably why he initially drove me crazy. Here was this older, adjunct faculty member who felt the need to constantly provide his point of view, which was NEVER the way I saw things. He would ruffle my feathers, really challenge my point of view. And sometimes I couldn't get a word in edgewise -- which was REALLY IRRITATING -- especially because he was WRONG. I'm not sure what it was about me that caused him to seek me out as a friend -- because I saw us as so.... different. But over time, through our one on one conversations I have come to truly value the unlikely friend that I have in Howie.

Howie is now retired from teaching. This is his first year in his new role as retiree. I don't think the transition has been an easy one. He'd rather be busy... so he's keeping himself busy trying to learn how to relax. (If you can call writing a book relaxing...) But his "free time" has given us time to connect on Facebook, over email, and an occasional lunch or phone call. While I still disagree with most of his political views (Howie, The problem is the system -- not the guy who you like to call "President Inept")... In Howie have found a constant friend, a cheerleader, a mentor, and more.

Howie is someone who offers advice on the inner workings of the college we both love -- he offers insight (and support) in my new role as a parent, and he is someone who cheers on my attempts at writing. In return, I think that he values my perspective and what I bring to the friendship... I feel like I was able to offer him editing advice on his book "Incentive" - which you can (shameless plug) order on Amazon.com

So as I reflect on the past year of my life - Howie's continued friendship has been a wonderful gift... Looking back to when we first met, I don't think I would have picked him to be my friend... But I am ever so thankful that he decided to pick me. So to my friend Howie -- Thanks Homie!

What I'm Reading Now - Nurture Shock

It all started when I was walking through the campus bookstore and the book cover caught my eye. A funny little egg, cracked, with a band aid over it. What WAS this book all about? Nurture Shock - New Thinking About Children... Turns out it was written by an author I had read before - Po Bronson (What Should I Do With My Life? -- turns out no one really knows... and in the end, the book was a bit depressing and unrewarding - but, well written). I was intrigued - and made a mental note to check into the book on Amazon.

And then, when I returned to the office, I had an email from Po Bronson. I must be on some sort of list that I don't remember ever signing up to receive. The email referred me to Newsweek. He and his co-author of Nurture Shock had written the cover story for Newsweek. It was about the creativity crisis in America and what to do about it. Not gonna lie - it felt a little serendipitous. So I jumped onto Newsweek, read the article, and was impressed. Then I went to Amazon and ordered the book.

The book arrived about a week ago. I've continued to be amazed ever since. The first chapter discusses the inverse power of positive praise. Basically here is the gist. Many parents continually praise their kids for being smart. "Oh, Johnny -- you are so smart! Good job". And you would think that this would be a good thing... turns out - research shows that this kind of praise has the potential to be destructive. Kids who are constantly praised for being smart are less likely to take educational risks - for fear that they might fail - and be seen as "not smart". Additionally, these same kids are less likely to stick with something they are bad at -- put in additional effort to master a difficult task - because they assume that being smart - or good at something should come easy to them.

The book states that instead, parents (and teachers) should praise kids for their efforts, and give specific examples in the praise. Kids who had their effort praised were more likely to stick with something difficult - and put in effort to work through the difficulty. They were also more likely to attempt challenging tasks that they knew would be very difficult and where there was a high chance they might not do very well.

Another chapter in the book addresses the issue of diversity. It turns out that kids in diverse classrooms or schools are LESS likely to have cross-racial friendships. The authors give specific examples of how parents need to talk to their kids about race. (i.e. we can't just assume that because the classroom is diverse that our kids "get" racial differences -- we need to be much more direct in our conversations.)

One chapter specifically addresses the issue of sleep in kids - Our school aged kids are getting 1 hour less sleep a night than they did 30 years ago. The cost? IQ points lost, ADHD, obesity, and problems with their emotional well being.

I don't want to give you the play by play of the entire book... Suffice it to say that over and over I've been fascinated by the information (and the science behind the information) in this book. I'd recommend it as a thought provoking (and relatively quick) read for anyone who is a parent or who works in K-12 education. I think you'll learn new information that may change some of your interactions with children. Or perhaps you're one of the lucky ones doing things completely right - and you will feel validated in your parenting/ teaching style!

And if you enjoy the book - here is some especially great news... The Metropolitan State College of Denver will be bringing the authors to campus on October 28th of this year. You could come hear the authors for yourself (the event is free) and even get your book signed! (yes, this is a shameless advertisement more information as the event day looms closer - humor me.)

Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman are weekly contributors to Newsweek - several of their articles are archived online as well - if you enjoy their work... you can be kept busy for a while. I've been trying to work my way through the list in all of my free time... all five minutes of it!Let me know if you pick up the book and read it. Or if you have read it already -- I'm also interested in your thoughts on the creativity (and other) articles in Newsweek.

The Challenge of Nicknames

What is it with people feeling the name to give our children nicknames? Lately, several well- meaning, very loving people in Sweet Pea’s life have decided to give him a nickname that is like nails on a chalkboard to me. And I’m struggling with how to address it. And it needs to be addressed or I might go crazy – I’m just not sure how to do it in a loving, respectful way.

This may be the only time you see my use my son’s name in this blog – as I feel it is necessary to protect his privacy. I am writing about him for my own emotional health – and it seems only fair to keep him mostly anonymous. But I’m not sure I can truly share the story in a way that makes sense without sharing the specifics.

My son’s name is Reese. It tends to be a more gender-neutral name these days – what with Reese Witherspoon being so famous. My husband and I both agreed upon the name, but we went into this whole parenting thing knowing that people might initially be confused as to whether Reese is a boy or a girl. It’s easy enough to correct the people that tell us that our little girl is so cute… But what I wasn’t expecting was for family members and daycare staff to call my son Reesey. I am not a fan of this nickname. To me, it is like nails on a chalkboard.

In the first few weeks of my son’s life, my husband also attempted to use this nickname. It was easier to address his poor nickname judgment. I simply said. “oh hell no! We will not call him Reesey.” And that was the end of that. But, for some reason, it is a harder conversation to have with other people involved in Reese’s life. I don’t want to appear harsh, or rude – especially when I know they are addressing him out of love. And I love that all of these well-meaning people love and adore my baby.

A friend with whom I shared this frustration (in an attempt to find a solution) asked me why I dislike Reesey so much. For one, it’s not his name. If I wanted his name to end in “ie” or “y” I would have given him a name that ended that way. And someday my little boy will be a young man – and nicknames have a way of “sticking”… especially in family settings. I’d like to give him a leg up on being called by his name so that when he attends school, he feels confident to tell kids that his name is Reese – not Reesey. If I can’t gather the confidence to have the conversation with people in my life, how can I ever expect it of him?

So, I’ve been working on my strategy (and on my courage) to address this with people when it occurs again. I feel like it is my responsibility as a parent to establish what my son is to be called… lest we end up with 50 year old man still called Reesey. Wish me luck!

It Must Be Monday

Sweet Pea has woken up on the wrong side of his Pack n' Play today.  Well, he's woken up on the wrong side of his Pack n' Play several times this morning.  It seems that no amount of cuddles and kisses are doing the trick. Even his play mat isn't doing the trick -- the one with his favorite monkey -- and the same three songs that are now permanently stuck in my head when I go to bed at night.  Nope Sweet Pea has decided that this morning he's just going to be cranky.  And everyone should know it.

So now I'm wide awake.  I've given up the dream that there might be more sleep for me this morning.  Instead, I am having my Tylenol Cold and Sinus (Daytime) with a coffee chaser.  And I'm thinking that Sweet Pea and all the other babies out there have it pretty easy.  When they are cranky and fed up with the world it is socially acceptable for them to scream and yell and pitch a hissy fit.  You and me?  Not so much.

And today is a day that I wish I were able to scream and whine a little bit.  It's Monday.  I'm exhausted because Sweet Pea is STILL on this crazy sleep schedule (although, I think I've determined that this might be my fault - so I've no one to blame but myself).  And the icing on the cake is this fantastic cold that I've somehow contracted over the weekend.  The cold in and of itself is not so bad - but combine it with the lack of sleep and I'm wondering if I will ever recover.  So, yes, today I think it would be easier to be an infant.  Scream and yell -- and just be cranky - and have everyone around me think -- oh she's just little, so it's ok.

Instead, I will be getting in the shower and putting on my "big-girl" clothes and heading off to work.  I hope that Monday will take it easy on me.  Because it is going to take everything I have to smile and be nice today.

I've got loads of other blog posts floating in my head that I have not had time to actually get down on "virtual paper"... so you'll have to forgive me that I'm a little behind.  More exciting, thought provoking insights from Brooke Frances later today -- right now I'm going to try to get out on the right side of MY bed -- here's hoping I don't step on my husband in the process ;-)

Stomach Sleeping

I am a stomach sleeper.  So is my husband.  And so is Sweet Pea.  (insert facial contortions from friends here).  Sweet Pea is three months old.  And every doctor, book, family member and many well meaning friend indicates that this is a VERYBADIDEA.

These days there are so many things you SHOULDN'T do from the minute you get pregnant and beyond. It's hard to sleep at night for fear I might be destroying my child's life with the sandwich meat I had for lunch to the vitamin D I should be giving him but normally don't -- because FORMULA gives him the vitamin D he needs -- breast milk? Not so much... (but that's a different rant.)

For over a month now Sweet Pea has taken naps on his stomach during the day... because the doctor said it was ok.. and because we found out BY ACCIDENT that he sleeps better that way.  One day I put him on my bed, on his stomach, for tummy time while I put some laundry away.  He was fussy but I HAD to get a few things done.  When I went to check on him a few minutes later... SOUND ASLEEP.  And he stayed that way for over an hour - which, at the time, was the best nap he had ever taken.  EVER.  Now, he naps like that all the time. 

But at night? I'm not so confident.  During nap time I keep checking in.  But at night? I am sleeping, too.  Well, we all should be sleeping. But right now... NO ONE is sleeping.  Well, that's not true.  My husband IS sleeping because he, apparently, can sleep through anything.  Sweet Pea and I have been up every two hours all night long for the past week.  It. is. awesome.  Like, in a my-life-totally-sucks-right-now kind of way.  Because before when he pulled this kind of crap we both took a nap during the day.  Now I don't get a nap because I think my boss would frown upon it. 

So -- I have a dilemma.  Put Sweet Pea on his side or back and wake up every two hours all night long... or put him put his tummy so we both get sleep.  And risk killing him.  Because of the whole SIDS thing that is talked about SO much every parent I know is afraid to fall asleep at night for fear that while they sleep their baby will stop breathing.  Last night at about 2 am when my husband and I couldn't take it anymore we finally put Sweet Pea on his tummy.  And he slept.  And so did we.  And this morning, I am happy to report that we are all alive and well. 

Does this mean that Sweet Pea will sleep on his tummy exclusively from now on?  I don't really have an answer.  It still freaks me out.  I will probaby call his doctor today and see what she thinks... and we'll weigh what the doctor says with what feels right.  Sweet Pea IS three months.  He has good muscle development in his neck.  He has rolled over, but he's not doing it all the time... so all of this will factor in to how we move forward...

Scary stuff this sleep thing.  And here all I thought I had to worry about were nightmares.  Not sleeping itself.  What are your thoughts on stomach sleeping? I would love to hear the feedback!

Not Your Average Joe -- Yep. I Concur.

Politics is an area that I typically tend to shy away from... It seems to open a can of worms and I like to tread lightly so as to not get everyone riled up.  However -- today I feel the need to jump in and speak my mind.  Forgive me my tirade. 

I live in House District 9 in Colorado.  The other day I received a mailer for State House Representative Joe Miklosi (D) -- he's currently running for re-election.  I've actually had drinks with Joe -- my friend Natalie has done volunteer work for him and she introduced us.  He seemed like a nice enough guy. 

But then, last week, this mailer came.  And now I think that either Joe is somewhat out of touch with his District, or he's in need of a new PR person.  Or both.  Take a look at what I received in the mail and let's see if you share my concerns...

Here's what I see.  There's a whole bunch of White people on this flier.  Only one photo on the mailer (front & back) represents people of color.  The photo is of a Black family - right smack in the middle of the photo -- and they represent people with foreclosure issues.  REALLY?  The only people of color on your flier are the ones that need financial help.... OH, JOE.  I'm guessing that your PR person is a moron -- and that you have no people of color on your campaign team... because this is just a BAD MOVE for your campaign.

For the record, House District 9 isn't just comprised of White people and Black people.  We have a high population of Arabs and Latinos -- they are not represented anywhere on this flier... so I guess if they received this in the mail -- they know that Joe doesn't really represent them OR care about their opportunities.

I know that this is just one small mailer... but I think it points to a much larger issue with Joe Miklosi and his understanding of Diversity.  And I say this as someone who tends to vote Democrat about someone who is a Democratic candidate.

I'm a little disappointed in the person who is currently representing me at the capitol.  I don't think he gets the District... I don't think he gets me or the issues that concern me.  And now, looking back to when I met with him all those months ago -- I remember he spent more time talking about himself than he did asking me about MY concerns and how he could better represent ME as a person in his District.

So Joe -- you've got a little time before the election.... I think you have some work to do... because as of right now -- you certainly don't have my vote. 

Guardianship: What Happens if Something Happens to Us?

I never realized that being a parent would lead to so many BIG, IMPORTANT conversations and decisions right from the get go.  I know I SHOULD have realized this.  But man - this "grown up" thing is making my brain hurt!

Vaccinations. Daycare.  We had a boy - so there was a conversation about circumcision.  And we're still working out the REALLY hard decisions.  What happens if something happens to US?  How much life insurance is enough?  Who do we get a policy through?  And what about a will?  Is there such a thing as a "do it yourself" will?  If not -- where the heck do we even find a lawyer to draw up a will? And how do we make the REALLY tough decision about who should take care of Sweet Pea if we aren't here to do it? And WHY is it that this isn't covered in the hospital birthing class or the baby books?  I'm a relatively smart person.  My husband is, too.  But this is new territory and we need a road map!

These conversations are scary and exhausting.  Some questions will most likely just take a little bit of research. (I'll get right on that in all of my free time).  But other questions are taking some soul searching and a very honest look at our values... our hopes and dreams for Sweet Pea.  And let's be honest.  No one really wants to think about not being around to take care of their baby.  Nor do we want to make a rash decision, either.  Because, for us, there doesn't seem to be an "obvious" choice.  We have many options - but no option is perfect... I'm not sure anyone has a "perfect" answer.  Perfect means you don't worry that you'll kick the bucket and leave your kid an orphan.

My husband's family is located in Colorado.  My family in Wisconsin.  Either option will mean that it will be work for Sweet Pea to stay connected to family.  Both of us have brothers - but our brothers are single.  It doesn't really seem fair to designate a single man as the sole guardian for Sweet Pea.  ("Surprise, Brother! You've never cared for a baby -- but now you get to!  Good Luck!")  And our parents, while WONDERFUL, are aging...  For the record, mine are older.... But, if Sweet Pea loses us - is it really fair to worry that his guardians might not be around long either?  And will they have the energy to even keep up with our crazy kid? Do we look to extended family?  Is that a slap in the face to our parents and siblings?  These questions don't have quick, easy answers -- but I feel pressure that we need to figure it out quickly.  Our child is on the planet - and if, suddenly, we aren't... it's not really fair to ask our families to play the part of King Solomon.

All the doom and gloom talk is depressing!  I'd rather go back to talking about what we think Sweet Pea will be when he grows up or what his first word will be.  (I'm pretty sure he's already said it, and it's "Hi" -- yes, my 3 month old is a boy genius!)

So, today, I don't have a book review or a cute story about how motherhood has opened my eyes and given me a new perspective on life.  Today, I have loads of questions - with no answers in sight.  Perhaps the folks that are reading this can offer some perspective on their own personal experiences with these decisions.  I know many of you are older and wiser... and some of you are just a few steps ahead of my husband and me in our parenting process.  I'm guessing your wisdom will not only assist me, but perhaps others that might be following my journey.  Thanks in advance for your insights!

The Vaccination Debate

Today Sweet Pea turned 3 months old.  Tomorrow he has the pleasure of visiting the pediatrician - so I thought I would take a bit of time to broach what some might find a controversial topic.  Vaccinations.

I feel like I should begin by stating that I am not opposed to vaccinating my child.  But a red flag was raised when I did my research and saw the EXTREMELY long list of vaccinations that are routinely scheduled for wee ones.  (It is much, much, longer than when I was an infant).  I mean, REALLY? Chicken Pox?  There is now a vaccination for Chicken Pox?  I thought that getting Chicken Pox was a childhood right of passage...

After seeing this list and having a mini freak-out; I felt like it was important to do some research, ask some questions, and determine for myself which vaccinations - if any - were absolutely necessary for the safety and well-being of my child.  I wanted to weigh the risks of the diseases that Sweet Pea would be vaccinated against vs. the actual dangers of the ingredients in each vaccine.

Lucky for me and the rest of the parenting population, Dr. Robert Sears - pediatrician extraordinaire - has written a book that lays it all out for parents in black and white.  And he does it in a way that is factual - He describes the diseases and weighs out ALL the information, risks, and vaccine options - so that parents can make the decision for themselves on what to do with each recommended vaccine.  He's not preachy.  He doesn't make any judgment calls.  And he provides options so that parents can feel comfortable with the decisions they are making.  Better yet?  He keeps an updated website so that all information is current.  Even though the book was written in 2007, I know that I can get the most up-to-date information possible online.

I found the information on the Hep B vaccine especially helpful in our decision making process.  Hepatitis B is a sexually transmitted virus that can cause problems with the liver.  It can be fatal.  Hep B can be contracted through unprotected sex, sharing needles, improperly sterilized tattoo needles or getting stuck with an infected needle.   The vaccine is usually given in the hospital at birth or at the infant's first visit to the pediatrician (2 day appointment). Now, I don't know about you -- but I'm pretty sure that my newborn will not be having unprotected sex, doing drugs, or running out to get a tattoo.  This is one vaccine that can probably wait until Sweet Pea is a bit older.  So Sweet Pea's daddy and I decided to hold off on this one.

But that Chicken Pox vaccine? Turns out if you've ever had chicken pox you are more at risk for Shingles later in life.  Something my husband and I found out firsthand in my 9th month of pregnancy.  When we ended up in the emergency room because my husband had this really weird rash and the WORST headache of his life.  Turns out he quite possibly had Shingles and most definitely had Viral Meningitis.  (In rare cases Shingles can actually cause Viral Meningitis - in healthy people there is a .5% chance of this happening). Talk about a very frightening day.  Followed by a week where my husband was flat on his back at home - and both of us sick with worry that he might contaminate me and the yet-to-be-born Sweet Pea.  This experience solidified our personal decisions about vaccinations for several diseases.  But Dr. Sears lays it all out so that each family can come to their own conclusions by weighing the chance of contracting the disease with the risks of side effects for the vaccine.  And he shares all ingredients in each vaccine. Which is great if you have concerns about certain potentially toxic ingredients.  He even gives tips on how to discuss all your vaccine questions and concerns with your pediatrician.

I'm impressed with his ability to find middle ground in all of this, too.  He gives options for a selective vaccine schedule and an alternate vaccine schedule for those parents (like me) who believe that some (if not all) vaccines are necessary - but don't want to load their babies up with tons of scary ingredients all at once.  The alternate schedule stretches the vaccination schedule out to 18 months.  It does mean more visits to the pediatrician (and thus, more co-pays) but it also means you have a better idea what shot might be causing side effects if your child does have an adverse reaction.  The plan really tries to limit the amount of aluminum that your child is given in one visit - as this toxic ingredient seems to be the most controversial and be the most concerning for many parents.

All-in-all this book has been an important part of our infant survival kit.  It's along at every doctor's visit and usually in my purse so that I can continue to brush up on information when I have a spare moment or two to read.

So if you are a parent, soon-to-be parent, or know anyone with young children... I can't recommend this book enough.  Definitely worth the read!

Is today over yet?

The house is quiet.  The TV is off.  The dogs are snoring.  The hubbie is out on a run.  Sweet Pea is sleeping.  And I am basking in the solace of a quiet moment.  It is so peaceful and wonderful and I think I will just take a moment to be reminded that it IS possible for my home to not be surrounded in chaos.  If only the WHOLE day had been like this...  Alas, that was not the case...

Here is how today went.  I am at work... trying to get caught up on 3 months of emails, questions, phone calls... My cell phone rings at 10 am.  It's my husband - whoiloveverymuch - trying to yell over the top of the wee one in FULL MELTDOWN mode.  (Daddy has Sweet Pea at his home office two days a week. -- Today is day two of the new schedule) Apparently the screaming had begun 30 minutes earlier.  Sweet Pea has no interest in calming down or in taking his bottle.  I am somehow supposed to solve the crisis over the phone.  I have no idea how.

So I do the only two things I can think of.  1. Call my mother-in-law.  Since she is on her computer and lives in an area where dial-up is her only option - the phone goes straight to voicemail.  Plan B. -- Email sent that begs her to call her son.  (Since she watched Sweet Pea on my first day back to work, I am hoping she has the miracle answer to fix the issue).  2.  Call the neighbors - one isn't home, the other rushes over to help -- which probably stresses my husband out more than it helps -- but Hell, I AM GRASPING AT STRAWS HERE.

Sweet Pea finally cries himself to sleep - still not having eaten.  He wakes up again at noon and the whole process starts over again.  Yes - my child is on a hunger strike.  To the point where my husband calls and says... that's it, I give up.  I'm bringing the kid to you. (great, because THAT is going to solve the problem)  But then my mother in law talks him down.  So my husband - whoiloveverymuchbutdon'tknowhowtohelp - finally just packs Sweet Pea in the car and tells him "Daddy has work to do and you're coming with me. "  Sweet Pea calms down - but my husband has not packed a bottle so he turns around and heads back home and Sweet Pea FINALLY eats.  At 1:30.  About 6 hours since his last bottle.

Meanwhile, I am in HYSTERICS at work.  Knowing that I can't go home and save my child and my husband as that will only make matters worse tomorrow.  and the next day. and the next.  It's a battle of the wills and even though it's KILLNG me...  I will teach my son who's boss.  I will teach my son who's boss.  I will teach my son who's boss.  (OK- let's be honest - he is TOTALLY running the show... but I think that this going back to work thing is going to force him to pull it together.  I mean he's 3 months old now.  It's high time he grows up and stops being such a baby).

The good news.  No one died.  Everyone survived this very traumatic day. Even the people in my office survived me and my traumatic day.  And by the time I arrived home, my child was all smiles -- "Oh hi mama -- it's good to see you.  You've been gone for like 10 minutes and I've been looking for you".  he has NO IDEA all the heartache and distress he is causing me -- But I plan to remind him of it when he's older.  I'm expecting to get some kick ass mother's day gifts down the road.... I think he owes me.

And now - i think I will go back to enjoying the peace and quiet.  With a glass of wine.  And maybe even read a page or two from a book.  Imagine that.

After an enjoyable holiday weekend... it's time to write and reflect.  I've taken a couple of days off because I've been in a bit of a funk.  And no one wants to hear my ramblings when I'm crabby.

I've spent the last couple of days trying to put my finger on what, exactly, is wrong.  Life is pretty great - so why the foul mood?  And I think what it comes down to is that I'm not sure who I'm supposed to be anymore.  And who I am might not be as interesting as who I used to be.

Sure, I'm Sweet Pea's mom.  And my husband's wife.  I'm the boss of several professional staff and a dozen or so student staff.  But there used to be a lot more to my life than people needing me. I used to have time to read.  For fun.  I used to be able to spend the weekend baking bread or cookies... and not have to plan it into my schedule.  I used to be able to head out the door on a 5 mile run... and I wouldn't need to worry how it fit into nap time or feeding schedules.  I used to be interesting... well, at least I think I used to be interesting.

Now it feels like life is an endless array of LISTS.  Lists of what we need from the grocery store (so that we don't have to waste time with repeated trips), lists of what needs to be done around the house.  I spend so much of my day trying to be ORGANIZED and establishing routines that there isn't time to be spontaneous... and organized isn't very fun.  And in my down time it feels like someone is always hanging on me.  A baby, a dog, a husband... I love them all - but really.  A little breathing room would be great.

Sure, my husband - whoiloveverymuch - is super supportive and encourages me to head out the door on a run.  But let's be honest -- Most days I get up at 4:30 am. If I have the choice between going for a run or getting sleep, I am opting for the sleep.  I can use all the extra rest that is thrown my way.

At night there is dinner to make, put away, and organize for lunches the next day.  Once Sweet Pea is down for the night and the house is (somewhat) tidy - it's time for bed.  I think if I tried to read I would just fall asleep.  I have stacks of books collecting dust.  And I've watched more crappy tv than I care to even recall - all while feeding Sweet Pea.

Outside of work, I am not sure I even have friends any more - and if I did have a few moments to see them - I'm not sure I would have anything interesting to talk about... it's all a little.... depressing.

I DO know that it will get better.  Life with a little one is difficult.  We all have adjusting to do.  Schedules to figure out.  Once we have a routine it will get easier... but my entire adult life has been about spontenaiety -- and routines, schedules?  Well, they kind of suck. 

So, for now, I'll be making a concerted effort to find small moments in my day to try and remember who I am outside of my responsibilities.  I don't know that it will be easy.  But I do know that it is important.  I guess I need to schedule some time in my day for spontenaity... well, you know what I mean.

"Holy Shift"

Life can change in an instant.  I've heard the saying many times before - I just don't know that it ever applied to me.  I remember the moment that my husband and I found out that there would be a baby in our lives.  I'd like to tell you that it was a moment we celebrated. Tears of joy, excited phone calls to the parental units, the whole bit....   But mostly, it was a "Holy Shit" moment - followed by days of sheer panic.  Complete fear of the unknown that we were being thrust into.  Knowing that the carefree lifestyle we were living would soon be a distant memory - but not knowing what to anticipate in its place.

After a time, the panic gave way to excitement and nervous anticipation.  Most of our time taken up by the decisions that now, looking back, were not decisions that were the weighty, important ones.  How will we decorate the nursery? (the one that the baby WON'T sleep in... because he'd rather be in the pack n' play in our room).  What about names? (important, yes, but was it really worth the HOURS of arguing...) Or what outfit should we take to the hospital for bringing him home? (it didn't fit - newborns can be SURPRISINGLY tiny).

Instead, I wish we had spent more time talking about what we wanted our lives to look like once the little man arrived. I wish we had talked about priorities... our overall values regarding work, family, and life. Because life HAS changed in an instant.  The moment we left the hospital with Sweet Pea my entire life perspective made a cataclysmic shift.  (which caused an unexpected anxiety attack...) I knew life would change - certainly.  But I wasn't prepared for the weighty-ness of the change.  I have always been a responsible person - but now I have RESPONSIBILITY.

I wish that we had discussed what would happen if I decided I DIDN'T want to return to work.  Could we find a way to swing it financially?  Were there other options?  Could we find solutions that included part-time work and benefits?  But these discussions didn't happen because I assumed I would be dying to get back to work... that I would be bored at home and ready to get back to the grind.  That I would be ok with our son spending time in daycare.  Sure, these conversations can happen now - it's not too late... and perhaps sometimes it's because life has changed so drastically we are able to find solutions that were never available to us before.

I had initially thought that I would be on maternity leave for 6 weeks, maybe 8 -- tops.  But the 6 turned to 8, then 10 and then 12.  And if I was allowed to be out longer... I would still be at home...

Today was my first day back to work.  It wasn't as horrible as I thought it would be - mostly because my mother-in-law is FABULOUS and kindly offered to ease us into our new routine.  She hung out with Sweet Pea today -- and from what she's telling me he had a great day.  It wasn't perfect, there were tears.  But he did really great.  I think he actually ENJOYED his day.  He did much better than I did.   My day included tears... and staring at the phone, wondering if he was ok.... and thinking of the loads of smiles and kisses that I was missing out on while I was away... and counting down the hours until I was able to head home and... and work - (it did also include work).  When I arrived home, I'm not sure that Sweet Pea even realized how long I had been gone.

The question isn't really - will my son survive daycare?  Because the answer is, of course, YES.  Loads of children survive and thrive in daycare.  It's more a question of - will I survive my son being in daycare?  And is this an option I am ok with for the long haul?

If you had asked me 12 months ago if I loved my job... I would have given you a resounding YES.  And if you asked me the same question today, I would still say, yes.  The difference is that my job is no longer what defines me.  I enjoy my job.  I work hard at my job.  But my son - my family - is my priority.  And if I had my druthers, I would give my son and my family my undivided attention - or at least more attention than my full-time job will allow.

I realize that I am writing this at the end of my first day back to work.  Perhaps my prespective will change in the next week or two... But cross your fingers that with conversations and creativity my husband and I can also find some alternate solutions that just might give us the best of both worlds... Because winning the lottery hasn't panned out...

"Martha" and the kitchen catastrophe

Tomorrow, my mother-in-law will be coming for a visit. She's staying overnight in order to watch Sweet Pea for my first day back to work this Thursday.  In order to celebrate her visit, I thought I would do some baking.  The last time she came to visit was Mother's Day.  She joined us for brunch.  That day she brought many treats; my favorite of her spread were these fabulous cherry turnovers.  Made from scratch.  Every one of them perfect, delicious, golden brown.  Perfect little triangular shape.  When I complimented her on them, she casually said that "really, it was nothing, they are so easy to make."  I should have known...

I consider myself a pretty decent baker.  If I could do anything on a day off, I would bake.  I've never tried turnovers, but since I had some cherries in the house I thought I would give it a whirl.  Because how hard can it be?

The cherries and the filling? Easy as pie.  The process seemed to be as quick and painless as my mother-in-law let on.  The problems began with the puffed pastry... that stuck together when  I unrolled it.  First the recipe said to cut the sheets into 12 even squares.  Ok...  But then I suddenly had squares the size of wontons - and let's be honest, I am not a perfectionist like my mother-in-law.  Some were rectangles and not squares. 

So then the recipe called for 7 cherries and a dollop of filling to be placed on the the puff pastry square... all of which wasn't fitting in my wonton sized turnover. And the pastry that was sticking together when I opened it,  was certainly not sticking together as I tried to seal the turnovers.  And those rectangle pieces? Well they look less like a turnover and more like a pizza roll.

Now, because I am busy feeding Sweet Pea, my husband -- whoiloveverymuch -- is in charge of watching the oven to make sure "my masterpieces" don't burn.  As he opens the oven to check - he yells "Hey, these things are oozing shit everywhere!"  Yeah, I know, but thanks for pointing out they didn't seal up.

So as I think back to my mother-in-law's comments... I really should have known better. She is a wonderful person - the most creative person I know. This is a woman who makes Martha Stewart look like a slacker.  Sometimes I joke that she really is Martha Stewart on crack. (Those who know me well know that I tend to lean towards exaggeration for the sake spinning a good yarn - however, this time the statement is 100% true). She's been known to toss out cookies that aren't perfectly round.  I'm sure she could make turnovers in her sleep.  Easy to her, yes.  But easy... maybe not. These turnovers might as well be called "do-overs."

Chalk up today as a kitchen catastrophe.  Looks like I will need to destroy the evidence prior to "Martha's" arrival.  So if you're in the mood for a cherry pizza roll - I know where you can find a few.

Am I Becoming My Mother? - The Granola Years

When I was younger... sometime during the 80's.... my mom, Carol, went through what I like to refer to as "a phase".  It seemed like she woke up one day and decided the family needed to eat "healthier".  Suddenly, we were having whole wheat pasta with our spaghetti.  She was buying "all natural" peanut butter - the kind that needed to be refrigerated and stirred before it was used.  She was MAKING yogurt - sweetened with honey.  Our chocolate chip cookies turned into carob chip, wheat germ cookies. She brought home milk from my uncle's farm.  And pasteurized it herself.  She joined a health food co-op.  My mom went granola before granola was cool.  And I was miserable. 

I thought my mom had gone off the deep end.  I longed for bread that I could roll up into a ball and bounce of the ceiling - squishy and white and DELICIOUS.  And Jif peanut butter - cuz, you know, choosy moms choose Jif.  Instead, for school lunch, I had natural peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on home-made wheat bread - cut SUPER thick.  By the time lunch rolled around, the peanut butter had fused to the dry, thick, bread.  To wash it down, I had warm, lumpy milk (my mom was a "lazy ladeler" with that home-pasteurized milk... so there were chunks of cream floating in it).  And the best part? Dessert - that NASTY carob chip, wheat germ cookie. Awesome.  Just Awesome.

At some point, my mom outgrew the co-op and the health food phase.  We continued to eat healthy - but the carob, the wheat germ, the whole wheat pasta went away.  (The milk - it stayed for a while. Went away when suddenly everyone was supposed to drink 1% milk instead of whole).

I hadn't thought much about those "granola years" until recently.  I received a free copy of the book "No Impact Man".  It's a fantastic book - worth the read - about a guy, living in Manhattan, who decides to live an entire year making as little impact on the environment as possible.  He won't buy food that is packaged - no single use containers such as coffee cups, take out, etc.  The dude even goes so far as to make his own yogurt.  He makes significant changes to his life in order to make a statement about environmentalism.  It makes me feel guilty for all the plastic and cardboard containers that make their way into my house.  Which got me thinking.... 

Making my own yogurt can't be that hard... and it sounds kindof fun.  It would be more cost effective than the money I currently spend on yogurt.  Not to mention all those containers that may or may not be recycle-able.  And health food options have improved since the 80's (for example - have you TRIED Justin's Nut Butters?  It's a local company that makes the most INCREDIBLE Maple Almond Butter, among other flavors).  I'm sure I can figure out a way to flavor the yogurt so that it tastes better than the nasty stuff my mom used to force-feed me.

So tonight, as I sit writing this... I've got a crock pot full of ingredients that by morning will turn into yogurt.  Delicious, creamy, yogurt. (Maybe?  I'll let you know).  My husband is skeptical.  And concerned.  He's heard "the granola years" stories before.  He's been referring to me as "Carol" all day.  Did I mention that I made home-made wheat bread this week, too? And I've been trying to figure out a way that we can buy some farm fresh milk... Don't tell my mom I'm saying this because I'll never live it down, but... it seems that maybe my mom didn't have it all wrong - she was just a little before her time.

But carob chip, wheat germ cookies?  No way in hell.

The TO DO List.

It's Sunday night... I had a TO DO list for my day.  Of the 15 items on it, two were accomplished.  I DID make it to the grocery store.  I WAS able to get a few loads of laundry washed and dried... (but not folded and put up - or even out of the dryer).  The floor did not get vacuumed.  The cherry turnovers did not get made.  Nor did the bread, or the pizza dough.  Heck, I'm lucky the groceries even got off the counter.  Good intentions... the road to Hell is paved with them...

See, Sweet Pea was especially fussy today.  I find it ironic that while my husband was out of town all last week I was able to keep Sweet Pea occupied and happy.  I was able to get loads of tasks accomplished all while he babbled away in his swing, or on the floor... But today, when there were two of us to "tag team" and get our chores done... it just wasn't happening.  Instead, I spent the day feeding, rocking, snuggling, kissing, and holding my especially fussy little guy.  And it's easy to get really, really frustrated thinking about all the things I'm NOT getting done.  Because the floor is still dirty and disgusting... and the laundry is in piles -- it's staring me in the face! And so is my list... because NOTHING is crossed off it!

But then... as I take a step back and I sit down and reflect upon my day... I realize what I DID accomplish.  While I still have a TO DO list a mile long, the most important part of my day wasn't on my silly list.  I was able to spend time with Sweet Pea.  He needs me... and he LOVES spending time with me.  He loves kisses and eye contact.  He loves it when I sing to him, talk to him, smile at him.  And he loves to smile back.  He especially loves when we both get to snuggle and fall asleep on the couch watching some cheesy movie. (Today he was able to do the latter part with his daddy). 

Sweet Pea isn't going to be this tiny little guy for long.  (People keep reminding me of this fact... friends, family, strangers... trust me, I get it.) Before I know it, he'll be crawling, walking, running... In less than I week I will return to work and I'll miss out on all the little day to day moments with Sweet Pea. And way before I'm ready for it Sweet Pea will get bigger and won't want to snuggle with or want kisses from his mama!  So, there will be plenty of other days to vacuum, make turnovers, and fold laundry.  Today I spent the day with my little Sweet Pea.  I feel pretty lucky to have such a special little guy who wants to spend the day with me.

And tomorrow, I will add "spend quality time with Sweet Pea" to the top of that TO DO list.  Then, if nothing else gets accomplished, I'll still be able to put a check mark by the most important one. 

The Down and Dirty... Why I Love to Cloth Diaper

It's wash day.  Really, these days, every other day is wash day around here.  This is because my husband and I made the decision to cloth diaper our sweet pea.  Actually, let me rephrase that last statement... I made the decision to cloth diaper and my husband, whoiloveverymuch, is along for the ride.  He is supportive of the decision AND has even been known to throw a load of diapers in the wash without being prompted...on occasion.  YAY!

Recently, a friend commented on a Facebook post regarding cloth diapers; she was wondering why us young gals would make so much more work for ourselves.  I thought I would respond here.

When I first learned I was knocked up, there wasn't a doubt in my mind about cloth diapers vs. disposable.  There was NO WAY I was wrapping my sweet pea's butt in plastic.  Disposable diapers aren't breatheable AND it made me sick thinking about 2 to three years of diapers just sitting in a landfill... taking over two of my lifetimes to hopefully, eventually, decompose.

Next, I did some research. If my Sweet Pea was only in disposable diapers for 2 years... it would cost around $6,000.00 to keep him covered.  Compare that to the approximate $500.00 I spent on purchasing cloth diapers... quite a savings!  Now, I know this doesn't figure in my time doing laundry, the money spent on our water bill or detergent... but Sweet Pea hasn't had one diaper rash and rumor has it, it's easier to potty train kids who are cloth diapered.  Apparently, toddlers don't like feeling wet and uncomfortable -- something that doesn't happen in a disposable diaper filled with weird chemicals designed to pull wetness from your kiddo to keep them dry.  Overall, I think I'm coming out ahead in a lot of ways with our cloth diapering decision.  Not to mention these diapers are CUTE!

Cloth diapers have come a long way since my parent's generation.  Gone are the days of flat, pre-fold diapers, pins, and rubber pants. Sure, you COULD still cloth diaper this way, but with all the cloth diaper options... why would you want to? Actually, with all the options... it's a bit overwhelming.  Pocket diapers, all-in-ones, one size diapers... what the hell! Thankfully Belly Bliss  in Denver offers a class to walk you through what you need to know to make the best decision for you.  Better yet, the woman who teaches the class -Lisa Van Damme - runs a business selling the diapers and products she has used and trusts.  Most of the products she supports are made locally.  While the class costs $15.00, Lisa gives you a $15 discount on your first order at her store online store,Living Earth Babies.

Now, does all of this mean that Sweet Pea has NEVER had a disposable diaper on his little behind?  No... he has.  The cloth diapers didn't fit him until he was about a month old.  And, quite honestly, we were so exhausted the first month adding diaper laundry to the mix might have sent me over the edge.  And when we travel it's just not realistic to cart all our diaper supplies with us.

Since Sweet Pea has been one month old, he's been, more-or-less, in cloth.  The laundry? Not bad.. it gets to be routine and isn't overwhelming. (granted, I haven't gone back to work, yet.  Check back with me in a few weeks to see if I'm still singing the same tune.)  For now, we have enough diapers to cover us for 2 to three days.  So, it's one extra load of wash every other day.  It goes in when we're making dinner or watching TV.  And I feel good about helping my environment and keeping a bit more money in the bank.

You might be wondering what cloth diaper we use for Sweet Pea.  We decided on the Gro Baby diaper system and we've been very pleased.  It was more cost effective than some other options we considered, and we liked the style.  More good news? Waaaaay less diaper blow outs than we ever had with disposables.  We even went so far as to make our own diaper wipes and solution.  Easy to do.  No alcohol on Sweet Pea's bum.  No money spent on one-use wipes.  The best part the solution recipe we use has Sweet Pea's bum smelling delightful.  How many other mom's can say that about their baby's bum?  For the sake of time I won't get into how to make the wipes or solution... but if you are dying to know -- post something in my comment section and I'll be happy to share in another post.

Until then, I hope that some of you with kids in diapers will consider giving cloth diapers a try.  It's better for you, your baby, and frankly... all of us.

The First Step is the Hardest...

Today, I spent the day with my mother-in-law on her farm.  She lives a much simpler life than me -- and in many ways, I'm jealous.  It's just her and her "babies" on the farm: goats, chickens, llamas, dogs...  Her farm is organic and she raises her animals for fiber.  In addition to being a farmer, she's a fiber artist.  She makes beautiful fiber art and "lives the creative dream".  She is her own boss and she gets to do a job she loves every day of the week.  I think many of us dream of a job that makes our heart sing.  We wish that we were the boss... I know I do. 

But today, driving home, I reflected on the conversation with my mother-in-law... about life, passion, creative spirit, and hard work.  She LOVES her work.  She is PASSIONATE about the life she has created for herself.  Yet, it's clear that her life isn't as romantic as many of us might think.  Yes -- she is the boss, but along with that comes the responsibility that sink or swim she alone bears the burden.  As the "family farm" continues to disappear in the United States... taken over by big corporate farms or pushed out of existence by "big government"... her way of life, her livelihood, becomes more and more difficult to maintain.  Three years ago in her little area of Colorado there were 60 cattle ranches.  Now there are 6.  As hay becomes more and more expensive AND difficult to even locate and purchase and as her overhead continues to rise... being the boss isn't all it's cracked up to be.  She stands at a crossroads of how to move her business forward and how to maintain the life she loves -- decisions that will be difficult to make in the months and years ahead.

And yet... she continues to find creative ways to life the life of her choosing.  She may be at a crossroads on how she moves forward - but I have faith she will evolve.

I guess all of this becomes important to me because I, too, find myself at a crossroads.  I'm a new mom -- getting ready to return to work next week.  And while I enjoy my job... I'm not sure it's my life's passion.  My priorities are shifting... I'm suddenly seeing that it's important to live a life of purpose -- my job is to teach my little man how to be a good person, to live a life of integrity... In order to share my values with him, I better make sure that I'm "walking the walk".  I wish I could stay home with him -- to make sure he's learning from me -- and not from the daycare provider.  But financially, that just isn't in the cards.... YET.  So it's time to do some reflecting:  What is my passion, what is my purpose?  What are my talents and how do I best utilize them? And is my life in line with my values?  While I think I do a good job at being true to myself - I have work to do.  The first step is going to be the hardest -- but I'm going to do my best to teach my son what "Being Brooke Frances" is all about.  This blog is my first step at being true to myself and living a life of purpose, passion, integrity.  I've always wanted to write... today I will begin.