I am a stomach sleeper. So is my husband. And so is Sweet Pea. (insert facial contortions from friends here). Sweet Pea is three months old. And every doctor, book, family member and many well meaning friend indicates that this is a VERYBADIDEA.
These days there are so many things you SHOULDN'T do from the minute you get pregnant and beyond. It's hard to sleep at night for fear I might be destroying my child's life with the sandwich meat I had for lunch to the vitamin D I should be giving him but normally don't -- because FORMULA gives him the vitamin D he needs -- breast milk? Not so much... (but that's a different rant.)
For over a month now Sweet Pea has taken naps on his stomach during the day... because the doctor said it was ok.. and because we found out BY ACCIDENT that he sleeps better that way. One day I put him on my bed, on his stomach, for tummy time while I put some laundry away. He was fussy but I HAD to get a few things done. When I went to check on him a few minutes later... SOUND ASLEEP. And he stayed that way for over an hour - which, at the time, was the best nap he had ever taken. EVER. Now, he naps like that all the time.
But at night? I'm not so confident. During nap time I keep checking in. But at night? I am sleeping, too. Well, we all should be sleeping. But right now... NO ONE is sleeping. Well, that's not true. My husband IS sleeping because he, apparently, can sleep through anything. Sweet Pea and I have been up every two hours all night long for the past week. It. is. awesome. Like, in a my-life-totally-sucks-right-now kind of way. Because before when he pulled this kind of crap we both took a nap during the day. Now I don't get a nap because I think my boss would frown upon it.
So -- I have a dilemma. Put Sweet Pea on his side or back and wake up every two hours all night long... or put him put his tummy so we both get sleep. And risk killing him. Because of the whole SIDS thing that is talked about SO much every parent I know is afraid to fall asleep at night for fear that while they sleep their baby will stop breathing. Last night at about 2 am when my husband and I couldn't take it anymore we finally put Sweet Pea on his tummy. And he slept. And so did we. And this morning, I am happy to report that we are all alive and well.
Does this mean that Sweet Pea will sleep on his tummy exclusively from now on? I don't really have an answer. It still freaks me out. I will probaby call his doctor today and see what she thinks... and we'll weigh what the doctor says with what feels right. Sweet Pea IS three months. He has good muscle development in his neck. He has rolled over, but he's not doing it all the time... so all of this will factor in to how we move forward...
Scary stuff this sleep thing. And here all I thought I had to worry about were nightmares. Not sleeping itself. What are your thoughts on stomach sleeping? I would love to hear the feedback!
I am (obviously) not a doctor, but I am a believer that once they have decent muscle control in their neck that stomach sleeping is ok. Honestly, once they start rolling you have no control on which way they sleep anyway. A lot of babies start rolling around 4 months. You're not so far away from that. If it makes you too nervous right now to have him sleep on his stomach, you might want to wait until he is 6 months. The risk of SIDS goes down at 6 months.
ReplyDeleteI do believe that you need to do what is best for you and your baby, not necessarily what all the books say is right.
And so we have full disclosure- I am a stomach sleeper too ;).
Brooke, Just so we're introduced, I'm Blaine's (at AHEC) wife and new mommy too. I've enjoyed your blog so far and hope you don't mind my comment. I can relate to everything you just wrote (I was worried about lunch meat too). My doctor told me that when our son started sleeping on his stomach (it was a when and not an if) that we shouldn't worry about turning him over on his back. I still put him on his back to sleep, but he rolls over almost immediately.
ReplyDeleteAlso, there's new research on SIDS that appears to show a genetic predisposition to SIDS and it's those babies that truly benefit from the "back to sleep." Of course, you can't test your baby yet, so back to sleep is still the best idea. But I wouldn't worry too much.
I still check on my baby if he sleeps longer than an hour for a nap because I'm terrified of him not sleeping, yet he's survived so far. Best of luck.
Not breathing. I meant I check on him because I'm terrified of him not breathing.
ReplyDeleteBrooke,
ReplyDeleteThis post just gets my heart rate up at every turn, because these are issues that drive us nuts, too. For first time parents, it's even more upsetting because we lack the confidence of experience to say, "Screw the experts!" And I really want them to shut up (the experts). Really, how much do experts know, and how much is really bent on selling you stuff?
For instance, the data on SIDS seems to be more applicable to babies who don't get enough attention, period. And the recommendation not to sleep with your baby comes from the US Consumer Product Safety Commission, which is telling you in so many words that if you don't use something you can buy, you're kill you child because your body isn't good enough. (Hmmm, where have we heard that before?)
This whole debate seems to me like how global warming is presented on the news, i.e. "some scientists disagree that global warming exists" in order to give "both sides," even though 98% of scientists agree that global warming exists. What I am trying to say is that the words, "You could hurt your baby," are so powerful that they are just begging to be used manipulatively.
Again, another example: we visited a fertility clinic a while back, and after J got pregnant, we were told that J should get some shots of hormone to make sure the pregnancy took. So we asked why.
"Everyone does it."
"But what does the research show?"
"You need to do this.?
"Couldn't the doctor tell me about the research?"
"Oh, no, he's not going to do that."
"What?"
"You want you baby to live, don't you?"
As it turns out, those shots were contraindicated. In fact, the research was for women of a totally different category that was not representative of J's situation. What I'm trying to point out here is how easy it is to promote fear and use that fear to manipulate. With regard to sleep, there's that 2% chance of whatever happening to your child that strikes fear into a parent's heart. But that 2% should own as much fear as it does, because it's the Consumer Safety people making that claim, remember?
To bring this all back to a central point, I'd like to suggest that you know Sweet Pea better than anyone. If he's happy, do what you think is best. The medical advice out there is usually based on statistical models of populations, and their applicability to you and Sweet Pea can only be made with skepticism. Sleeping on the stomach is like another issue, sleeping with the baby (See John Seabrook's New Yorker acticle, "Sleeping with the Baby." 11/8/1999), which really comes down to cultural and lifestyle decisions more than science.
This is what I love about writing! All the great feedback I get in return!!! Thanks everyone for your advice, articles, and support. It is much appreciated!
ReplyDelete