"Martha" and the kitchen catastrophe

Tomorrow, my mother-in-law will be coming for a visit. She's staying overnight in order to watch Sweet Pea for my first day back to work this Thursday.  In order to celebrate her visit, I thought I would do some baking.  The last time she came to visit was Mother's Day.  She joined us for brunch.  That day she brought many treats; my favorite of her spread were these fabulous cherry turnovers.  Made from scratch.  Every one of them perfect, delicious, golden brown.  Perfect little triangular shape.  When I complimented her on them, she casually said that "really, it was nothing, they are so easy to make."  I should have known...

I consider myself a pretty decent baker.  If I could do anything on a day off, I would bake.  I've never tried turnovers, but since I had some cherries in the house I thought I would give it a whirl.  Because how hard can it be?

The cherries and the filling? Easy as pie.  The process seemed to be as quick and painless as my mother-in-law let on.  The problems began with the puffed pastry... that stuck together when  I unrolled it.  First the recipe said to cut the sheets into 12 even squares.  Ok...  But then I suddenly had squares the size of wontons - and let's be honest, I am not a perfectionist like my mother-in-law.  Some were rectangles and not squares. 

So then the recipe called for 7 cherries and a dollop of filling to be placed on the the puff pastry square... all of which wasn't fitting in my wonton sized turnover. And the pastry that was sticking together when I opened it,  was certainly not sticking together as I tried to seal the turnovers.  And those rectangle pieces? Well they look less like a turnover and more like a pizza roll.

Now, because I am busy feeding Sweet Pea, my husband -- whoiloveverymuch -- is in charge of watching the oven to make sure "my masterpieces" don't burn.  As he opens the oven to check - he yells "Hey, these things are oozing shit everywhere!"  Yeah, I know, but thanks for pointing out they didn't seal up.

So as I think back to my mother-in-law's comments... I really should have known better. She is a wonderful person - the most creative person I know. This is a woman who makes Martha Stewart look like a slacker.  Sometimes I joke that she really is Martha Stewart on crack. (Those who know me well know that I tend to lean towards exaggeration for the sake spinning a good yarn - however, this time the statement is 100% true). She's been known to toss out cookies that aren't perfectly round.  I'm sure she could make turnovers in her sleep.  Easy to her, yes.  But easy... maybe not. These turnovers might as well be called "do-overs."

Chalk up today as a kitchen catastrophe.  Looks like I will need to destroy the evidence prior to "Martha's" arrival.  So if you're in the mood for a cherry pizza roll - I know where you can find a few.

Am I Becoming My Mother? - The Granola Years

When I was younger... sometime during the 80's.... my mom, Carol, went through what I like to refer to as "a phase".  It seemed like she woke up one day and decided the family needed to eat "healthier".  Suddenly, we were having whole wheat pasta with our spaghetti.  She was buying "all natural" peanut butter - the kind that needed to be refrigerated and stirred before it was used.  She was MAKING yogurt - sweetened with honey.  Our chocolate chip cookies turned into carob chip, wheat germ cookies. She brought home milk from my uncle's farm.  And pasteurized it herself.  She joined a health food co-op.  My mom went granola before granola was cool.  And I was miserable. 

I thought my mom had gone off the deep end.  I longed for bread that I could roll up into a ball and bounce of the ceiling - squishy and white and DELICIOUS.  And Jif peanut butter - cuz, you know, choosy moms choose Jif.  Instead, for school lunch, I had natural peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on home-made wheat bread - cut SUPER thick.  By the time lunch rolled around, the peanut butter had fused to the dry, thick, bread.  To wash it down, I had warm, lumpy milk (my mom was a "lazy ladeler" with that home-pasteurized milk... so there were chunks of cream floating in it).  And the best part? Dessert - that NASTY carob chip, wheat germ cookie. Awesome.  Just Awesome.

At some point, my mom outgrew the co-op and the health food phase.  We continued to eat healthy - but the carob, the wheat germ, the whole wheat pasta went away.  (The milk - it stayed for a while. Went away when suddenly everyone was supposed to drink 1% milk instead of whole).

I hadn't thought much about those "granola years" until recently.  I received a free copy of the book "No Impact Man".  It's a fantastic book - worth the read - about a guy, living in Manhattan, who decides to live an entire year making as little impact on the environment as possible.  He won't buy food that is packaged - no single use containers such as coffee cups, take out, etc.  The dude even goes so far as to make his own yogurt.  He makes significant changes to his life in order to make a statement about environmentalism.  It makes me feel guilty for all the plastic and cardboard containers that make their way into my house.  Which got me thinking.... 

Making my own yogurt can't be that hard... and it sounds kindof fun.  It would be more cost effective than the money I currently spend on yogurt.  Not to mention all those containers that may or may not be recycle-able.  And health food options have improved since the 80's (for example - have you TRIED Justin's Nut Butters?  It's a local company that makes the most INCREDIBLE Maple Almond Butter, among other flavors).  I'm sure I can figure out a way to flavor the yogurt so that it tastes better than the nasty stuff my mom used to force-feed me.

So tonight, as I sit writing this... I've got a crock pot full of ingredients that by morning will turn into yogurt.  Delicious, creamy, yogurt. (Maybe?  I'll let you know).  My husband is skeptical.  And concerned.  He's heard "the granola years" stories before.  He's been referring to me as "Carol" all day.  Did I mention that I made home-made wheat bread this week, too? And I've been trying to figure out a way that we can buy some farm fresh milk... Don't tell my mom I'm saying this because I'll never live it down, but... it seems that maybe my mom didn't have it all wrong - she was just a little before her time.

But carob chip, wheat germ cookies?  No way in hell.

The TO DO List.

It's Sunday night... I had a TO DO list for my day.  Of the 15 items on it, two were accomplished.  I DID make it to the grocery store.  I WAS able to get a few loads of laundry washed and dried... (but not folded and put up - or even out of the dryer).  The floor did not get vacuumed.  The cherry turnovers did not get made.  Nor did the bread, or the pizza dough.  Heck, I'm lucky the groceries even got off the counter.  Good intentions... the road to Hell is paved with them...

See, Sweet Pea was especially fussy today.  I find it ironic that while my husband was out of town all last week I was able to keep Sweet Pea occupied and happy.  I was able to get loads of tasks accomplished all while he babbled away in his swing, or on the floor... But today, when there were two of us to "tag team" and get our chores done... it just wasn't happening.  Instead, I spent the day feeding, rocking, snuggling, kissing, and holding my especially fussy little guy.  And it's easy to get really, really frustrated thinking about all the things I'm NOT getting done.  Because the floor is still dirty and disgusting... and the laundry is in piles -- it's staring me in the face! And so is my list... because NOTHING is crossed off it!

But then... as I take a step back and I sit down and reflect upon my day... I realize what I DID accomplish.  While I still have a TO DO list a mile long, the most important part of my day wasn't on my silly list.  I was able to spend time with Sweet Pea.  He needs me... and he LOVES spending time with me.  He loves kisses and eye contact.  He loves it when I sing to him, talk to him, smile at him.  And he loves to smile back.  He especially loves when we both get to snuggle and fall asleep on the couch watching some cheesy movie. (Today he was able to do the latter part with his daddy). 

Sweet Pea isn't going to be this tiny little guy for long.  (People keep reminding me of this fact... friends, family, strangers... trust me, I get it.) Before I know it, he'll be crawling, walking, running... In less than I week I will return to work and I'll miss out on all the little day to day moments with Sweet Pea. And way before I'm ready for it Sweet Pea will get bigger and won't want to snuggle with or want kisses from his mama!  So, there will be plenty of other days to vacuum, make turnovers, and fold laundry.  Today I spent the day with my little Sweet Pea.  I feel pretty lucky to have such a special little guy who wants to spend the day with me.

And tomorrow, I will add "spend quality time with Sweet Pea" to the top of that TO DO list.  Then, if nothing else gets accomplished, I'll still be able to put a check mark by the most important one. 

The Down and Dirty... Why I Love to Cloth Diaper

It's wash day.  Really, these days, every other day is wash day around here.  This is because my husband and I made the decision to cloth diaper our sweet pea.  Actually, let me rephrase that last statement... I made the decision to cloth diaper and my husband, whoiloveverymuch, is along for the ride.  He is supportive of the decision AND has even been known to throw a load of diapers in the wash without being prompted...on occasion.  YAY!

Recently, a friend commented on a Facebook post regarding cloth diapers; she was wondering why us young gals would make so much more work for ourselves.  I thought I would respond here.

When I first learned I was knocked up, there wasn't a doubt in my mind about cloth diapers vs. disposable.  There was NO WAY I was wrapping my sweet pea's butt in plastic.  Disposable diapers aren't breatheable AND it made me sick thinking about 2 to three years of diapers just sitting in a landfill... taking over two of my lifetimes to hopefully, eventually, decompose.

Next, I did some research. If my Sweet Pea was only in disposable diapers for 2 years... it would cost around $6,000.00 to keep him covered.  Compare that to the approximate $500.00 I spent on purchasing cloth diapers... quite a savings!  Now, I know this doesn't figure in my time doing laundry, the money spent on our water bill or detergent... but Sweet Pea hasn't had one diaper rash and rumor has it, it's easier to potty train kids who are cloth diapered.  Apparently, toddlers don't like feeling wet and uncomfortable -- something that doesn't happen in a disposable diaper filled with weird chemicals designed to pull wetness from your kiddo to keep them dry.  Overall, I think I'm coming out ahead in a lot of ways with our cloth diapering decision.  Not to mention these diapers are CUTE!

Cloth diapers have come a long way since my parent's generation.  Gone are the days of flat, pre-fold diapers, pins, and rubber pants. Sure, you COULD still cloth diaper this way, but with all the cloth diaper options... why would you want to? Actually, with all the options... it's a bit overwhelming.  Pocket diapers, all-in-ones, one size diapers... what the hell! Thankfully Belly Bliss  in Denver offers a class to walk you through what you need to know to make the best decision for you.  Better yet, the woman who teaches the class -Lisa Van Damme - runs a business selling the diapers and products she has used and trusts.  Most of the products she supports are made locally.  While the class costs $15.00, Lisa gives you a $15 discount on your first order at her store online store,Living Earth Babies.

Now, does all of this mean that Sweet Pea has NEVER had a disposable diaper on his little behind?  No... he has.  The cloth diapers didn't fit him until he was about a month old.  And, quite honestly, we were so exhausted the first month adding diaper laundry to the mix might have sent me over the edge.  And when we travel it's just not realistic to cart all our diaper supplies with us.

Since Sweet Pea has been one month old, he's been, more-or-less, in cloth.  The laundry? Not bad.. it gets to be routine and isn't overwhelming. (granted, I haven't gone back to work, yet.  Check back with me in a few weeks to see if I'm still singing the same tune.)  For now, we have enough diapers to cover us for 2 to three days.  So, it's one extra load of wash every other day.  It goes in when we're making dinner or watching TV.  And I feel good about helping my environment and keeping a bit more money in the bank.

You might be wondering what cloth diaper we use for Sweet Pea.  We decided on the Gro Baby diaper system and we've been very pleased.  It was more cost effective than some other options we considered, and we liked the style.  More good news? Waaaaay less diaper blow outs than we ever had with disposables.  We even went so far as to make our own diaper wipes and solution.  Easy to do.  No alcohol on Sweet Pea's bum.  No money spent on one-use wipes.  The best part the solution recipe we use has Sweet Pea's bum smelling delightful.  How many other mom's can say that about their baby's bum?  For the sake of time I won't get into how to make the wipes or solution... but if you are dying to know -- post something in my comment section and I'll be happy to share in another post.

Until then, I hope that some of you with kids in diapers will consider giving cloth diapers a try.  It's better for you, your baby, and frankly... all of us.

The First Step is the Hardest...

Today, I spent the day with my mother-in-law on her farm.  She lives a much simpler life than me -- and in many ways, I'm jealous.  It's just her and her "babies" on the farm: goats, chickens, llamas, dogs...  Her farm is organic and she raises her animals for fiber.  In addition to being a farmer, she's a fiber artist.  She makes beautiful fiber art and "lives the creative dream".  She is her own boss and she gets to do a job she loves every day of the week.  I think many of us dream of a job that makes our heart sing.  We wish that we were the boss... I know I do. 

But today, driving home, I reflected on the conversation with my mother-in-law... about life, passion, creative spirit, and hard work.  She LOVES her work.  She is PASSIONATE about the life she has created for herself.  Yet, it's clear that her life isn't as romantic as many of us might think.  Yes -- she is the boss, but along with that comes the responsibility that sink or swim she alone bears the burden.  As the "family farm" continues to disappear in the United States... taken over by big corporate farms or pushed out of existence by "big government"... her way of life, her livelihood, becomes more and more difficult to maintain.  Three years ago in her little area of Colorado there were 60 cattle ranches.  Now there are 6.  As hay becomes more and more expensive AND difficult to even locate and purchase and as her overhead continues to rise... being the boss isn't all it's cracked up to be.  She stands at a crossroads of how to move her business forward and how to maintain the life she loves -- decisions that will be difficult to make in the months and years ahead.

And yet... she continues to find creative ways to life the life of her choosing.  She may be at a crossroads on how she moves forward - but I have faith she will evolve.

I guess all of this becomes important to me because I, too, find myself at a crossroads.  I'm a new mom -- getting ready to return to work next week.  And while I enjoy my job... I'm not sure it's my life's passion.  My priorities are shifting... I'm suddenly seeing that it's important to live a life of purpose -- my job is to teach my little man how to be a good person, to live a life of integrity... In order to share my values with him, I better make sure that I'm "walking the walk".  I wish I could stay home with him -- to make sure he's learning from me -- and not from the daycare provider.  But financially, that just isn't in the cards.... YET.  So it's time to do some reflecting:  What is my passion, what is my purpose?  What are my talents and how do I best utilize them? And is my life in line with my values?  While I think I do a good job at being true to myself - I have work to do.  The first step is going to be the hardest -- but I'm going to do my best to teach my son what "Being Brooke Frances" is all about.  This blog is my first step at being true to myself and living a life of purpose, passion, integrity.  I've always wanted to write... today I will begin.