"Martha" and the kitchen catastrophe

Tomorrow, my mother-in-law will be coming for a visit. She's staying overnight in order to watch Sweet Pea for my first day back to work this Thursday.  In order to celebrate her visit, I thought I would do some baking.  The last time she came to visit was Mother's Day.  She joined us for brunch.  That day she brought many treats; my favorite of her spread were these fabulous cherry turnovers.  Made from scratch.  Every one of them perfect, delicious, golden brown.  Perfect little triangular shape.  When I complimented her on them, she casually said that "really, it was nothing, they are so easy to make."  I should have known...

I consider myself a pretty decent baker.  If I could do anything on a day off, I would bake.  I've never tried turnovers, but since I had some cherries in the house I thought I would give it a whirl.  Because how hard can it be?

The cherries and the filling? Easy as pie.  The process seemed to be as quick and painless as my mother-in-law let on.  The problems began with the puffed pastry... that stuck together when  I unrolled it.  First the recipe said to cut the sheets into 12 even squares.  Ok...  But then I suddenly had squares the size of wontons - and let's be honest, I am not a perfectionist like my mother-in-law.  Some were rectangles and not squares. 

So then the recipe called for 7 cherries and a dollop of filling to be placed on the the puff pastry square... all of which wasn't fitting in my wonton sized turnover. And the pastry that was sticking together when I opened it,  was certainly not sticking together as I tried to seal the turnovers.  And those rectangle pieces? Well they look less like a turnover and more like a pizza roll.

Now, because I am busy feeding Sweet Pea, my husband -- whoiloveverymuch -- is in charge of watching the oven to make sure "my masterpieces" don't burn.  As he opens the oven to check - he yells "Hey, these things are oozing shit everywhere!"  Yeah, I know, but thanks for pointing out they didn't seal up.

So as I think back to my mother-in-law's comments... I really should have known better. She is a wonderful person - the most creative person I know. This is a woman who makes Martha Stewart look like a slacker.  Sometimes I joke that she really is Martha Stewart on crack. (Those who know me well know that I tend to lean towards exaggeration for the sake spinning a good yarn - however, this time the statement is 100% true). She's been known to toss out cookies that aren't perfectly round.  I'm sure she could make turnovers in her sleep.  Easy to her, yes.  But easy... maybe not. These turnovers might as well be called "do-overs."

Chalk up today as a kitchen catastrophe.  Looks like I will need to destroy the evidence prior to "Martha's" arrival.  So if you're in the mood for a cherry pizza roll - I know where you can find a few.