The Challenge of Nicknames

What is it with people feeling the name to give our children nicknames? Lately, several well- meaning, very loving people in Sweet Pea’s life have decided to give him a nickname that is like nails on a chalkboard to me. And I’m struggling with how to address it. And it needs to be addressed or I might go crazy – I’m just not sure how to do it in a loving, respectful way.

This may be the only time you see my use my son’s name in this blog – as I feel it is necessary to protect his privacy. I am writing about him for my own emotional health – and it seems only fair to keep him mostly anonymous. But I’m not sure I can truly share the story in a way that makes sense without sharing the specifics.

My son’s name is Reese. It tends to be a more gender-neutral name these days – what with Reese Witherspoon being so famous. My husband and I both agreed upon the name, but we went into this whole parenting thing knowing that people might initially be confused as to whether Reese is a boy or a girl. It’s easy enough to correct the people that tell us that our little girl is so cute… But what I wasn’t expecting was for family members and daycare staff to call my son Reesey. I am not a fan of this nickname. To me, it is like nails on a chalkboard.

In the first few weeks of my son’s life, my husband also attempted to use this nickname. It was easier to address his poor nickname judgment. I simply said. “oh hell no! We will not call him Reesey.” And that was the end of that. But, for some reason, it is a harder conversation to have with other people involved in Reese’s life. I don’t want to appear harsh, or rude – especially when I know they are addressing him out of love. And I love that all of these well-meaning people love and adore my baby.

A friend with whom I shared this frustration (in an attempt to find a solution) asked me why I dislike Reesey so much. For one, it’s not his name. If I wanted his name to end in “ie” or “y” I would have given him a name that ended that way. And someday my little boy will be a young man – and nicknames have a way of “sticking”… especially in family settings. I’d like to give him a leg up on being called by his name so that when he attends school, he feels confident to tell kids that his name is Reese – not Reesey. If I can’t gather the confidence to have the conversation with people in my life, how can I ever expect it of him?

So, I’ve been working on my strategy (and on my courage) to address this with people when it occurs again. I feel like it is my responsibility as a parent to establish what my son is to be called… lest we end up with 50 year old man still called Reesey. Wish me luck!