For "A"

I write this note with a bit of a heavy heart.  Tomorrow my friend "A" is coming back to work.  She's been out for 12 weeks - enjoying every minute with her new little guy.  And tomorrow it's back to the grind. I'm pretty sure it's going to be one of the hardest days of her life. Perhaps I'm projecting my feelings onto her, I don't think I am.  But I truly hope that is the case.

I've been back to work from my maternity leave just a little over five months.  So the first day back is still a bit "fresh".  But I remember the dread leading up to that day.  How even THINKING about having to leave Sweet Pea would result in a puddle of tears.  Thank goodness for my mother-in-law who stayed at our house the night before I returned to work and watched Sweet Pea my first day back.  Even though I knew he was in good hands - it was still near impossible to walk out the front door.  I cried the whole way to work.  I cried most of the day at work.  And I spent most of my day thinking about "not picking up the phone" to check in.

And Sweet Pea did just fine.  Which was really what I wanted.  I wanted it to be one of the worst days of MY life - not the worst day of HIS. 

And now... five months later... Sweet Pea is doing just fine.  He is not only surviving, he's thriving at his daycare.  He has many little friends - and big friends too.  He is social and developing new skills each day.  He's always excited to see me when I pick him up at the end of the day but he's also happy to see his friends when I drop him off in the morning.  Is it my ideal?  Heck NO.  Do I hope to find a way to have the best of both worlds where I get to spend more time with Sweet Pea but he also has some days in daycare, too.  YOU BET.  But today - it's not in the cards.  Here's hoping that tomorrow - sometime soon - it IS in the cards... but until then we'll make the best of the time we have together.

It's the same for "A" - I know she wants to be a stay-at-home-mom.  But today it's not in the cards.  And the return to work after three whole months of quality time with baby "G" will stink.  There is just no way around it.  Because three months isn't enough.  Three years isn't enough.

What I'd like to tell her is that baby "G" will do just fine.  And that I'll be with her every step of the way... with Kleenex if necessary. Or chocolate.

-bf