Baby Food Fun

We have entered the solid food phase of baby raising here in the Brooke Frances & Family household.  That's right, folks -- Sweet Pea is eating rice cereal and an assorted array of fruits and veggies - and we can't seem to shovel the food into him fast enough.

At first he was a very timid eater -- he didn't seem all that interested in cereal, or anything solid.  So I gave up and figured we would try it again in a month or so... and then suddenly, it was like we just couldn't keep this guy full with his liquid diet.  Back to the solids we went... thinking that it would be the same thing all over again.  WRONG.

This guy likes to EAT.  Rice cereal, banana, sweet potatos.  We event tried peaches.  Guess what.  He doesn't like peaches.  Now HOW can an infant not like peaches?  Of all fruits? They are sweet, juicy, orange -- what is not to like?  Sweet Pea made a face, gagged, made a face again -- gagged and then hurled peaches and rice cereal all over himself and the floor.  So at 8:00 in the morning we headed off to throw him in the tub and hose off breakfast.  I thought to myself -- what a waste of a truly great fruit.

I love peaches, absolutely love them... so clearly this cannot be my child. Dammit - tomorrow we're trying those peaches again...

The Results are In...

So I have spent a bit of time this evening playing with the ipad... and I have decided that it really just isn't for me. As much as it can be a pain to haul my laptop to work and back every day... I really do love having my laptop at home. The ipad just doesn't cut it. While it has some OK features... I have decided I'm not a fan of the touch screen. I type much faster with a keyboard. And if I'm writing, I want to be able to type as fast as my brain is moving. I can't do that on a touch screen. (not to mention that after 10 minutes the scree looked so DISGUSTING and DIRTY!!!)

I can't upload my flipshare videos straight to the ipad, which is a big drawback to me. What? No uploading vidoes of Sweet Pea to Facebook?! I think NOT.

And here I thought that I would be happy to leave my computer at work. Nope. I think I'll be happier dragging it around. (I'll just view it as a good workout!)

Basically, I'd just rather have all the features on my laptop - so I might as well continue hauling the laptop around - or save up and buy a smaller laptop for home. So -- the ipad is going back to the store... to me, it just isn't worth the money for the limited features. Guess I will look into getting that Kindle thing after all!

Testing the waters

Just bit the bullet and bought an iPad... Thought I would try this out to see about this whole tablet craze... not sure what I think yet. I thought this might allow me to avoid lugging my laptop to work and back... But there are a few features that may not translate... For example, typing is a pain, and kinda slow... Facebook chat seems non existant... Not all website look amazing... Anyone else have an opinion?

The Summers of my Youth

Tonight I have been reflecting on the summers of my childhood. Summer makes me think of camping. Not the "Colorado" kind of camping that my husband forces me into... where you strap a backpack and 50 pounds of gear and food on your back and climb up and over 14,000 ft hills... The Wisconsin kind of camping... where you throw everything you own into small tin trailer and drag it behind your truck... This was the camping of my youth, and I LOVED it.

My grandma and grandpa D. have been camping since before I was born. They owned multiple variations of a Mallard trailer and would camp most weeks of the summer months. For one lucky week, each of the grandkids were able to tag along. There are 5 of us grandchildren -- and we would spend most of the spring in deep discussions attempting to determine the ideal camping combination -- who was going to go camping with one another, and what was the best week to go?

The weeks prior to camping, we would get our "gear" ready. Make sure our bike was in working order. Hit the library for some reading material. Make sure the Uno and Skipbo were packed. Use our allowance money on a combination of candy and gum. And make sure that Grandma and Grandpa had packed the cereal... the Kellog's variety pack of tiny cereal boxes that would allow us to sample all of our favorite sugar cereals -- the kind that Mom NEVER allowed us to eat at home.

We camped at J.W. Wells State Park in Upper Michigan. It was a three hour drive from home -- with several key roadside attractions that indicated our progress on the drive. The A&W where we stopped for lunch. The GIANT chicken statue in Peshtigo, WI; and the statue of horses pulling a trailer full of logs that indicated we were leaving WI and entering the promised land of the U.P.

J.W. Wells State Park will always hold a special place in my heart. I've probably biked more miles in that park than anywhere else in my entire life. It was always a contest to see who could put the most miles on their bike during the week of camping. There were times that we topped 100 miles... peddling around in circles for hours at a time each day...and on a 3 speed.

There were nightly campfires with stories and s'mores. And pudgie pies. Who knew that cherry pie filling and white bread could be so satisfying when heated over the coals of a campfire?

But, really, the best part of my summer camping experience was spending time with my grandma and grandpa. I'm not sure I knew it back then -- but I certainly realize it now. In that week each summer, I had a chance to spend quality time with my grandparents. I will forever carry the memories of my time with them in my heart. It was during those summer trips that I realized my dad probably got his temper from my Grandpa. (They both liked to yell, and for some reason I was usually on the receiving end of a really loud lecture. The most memorable was when I threw a frisbee into some poison ivy. Can't say Grandpa was too pleased... he doesn't remember the conversation that followed. But I'll never forget). I also learned that my Grandma wasn't as patient as she liked to let on... and pigtails and braids were not her strong suit. But she tried. (SIT STILL. IF YOU WOULD STOP FIDGETING THIS WOULD GO FASTER. IT HURTS TO BE BEAUTIFUL, THAT'S WHY I NEED TO PULL SO HARD TO GET THESE BRAIDS IN.)

The nostalgia is bittersweet. First because my Grandma is slowly losing her memory. I realize I now need to remember these days for the both of us. And second because I'm struggling knowing that my son will most likely not have these same experiences or the same kind of relationship with my parents. I was so lucky to have such a close relationship with my Grandma and Grandpa... and much of that was because we lived in close proximity. But now here I am in Colorado. And my mom and dad -- Sweet Pea's Grandma and Grandpa D. -- live far away in Wisconsin. They talk to him on the phone, I send photos and video. We visit as much as we can... but it's not the same... and it's not near enough. And it breaks my heart to know that it's not enough for them, either. My husband's family is here -- we are lucky to have such great family in Colorado to be a part of Sweet Pea's life... And I love my life and I love the home I've made in Colorado... but I feel guilty knowing how my decisions have impacted MY parent's ability to know their grandchild.

So tonight... as I reflect upon the summers of my youth... I realize that I have an important job to do. I have to teach Sweet Pea about the family I hold dear and make sure that he has every opportunity to be involved with them. I want him to be able to tell stories about the time he spent with his Grandma and Grandpa D. I hope that those stories include fishing, and camping, and s'mores, and summertime in Wisconsin... and I hope that those stories are some of the best memories of his childhood, too.

The value of unlikely friendships - this one is for my homie, Howie

My friend Jose likes to tell me "You don't pick your homies, your homies pick you."

Let me explain... for those readers that may be unfamiliar with the term "homie"; A homie is someone who seeks you out as a friend... someone who YOU might not normally seek out to be your friend - but for some reason this other person really values their connection to you. We all have a homie - sometimes more than one.

I'd like to tell you about my homie, Howie.

I first met Howie a number of years ago through a work-based professional development opportunity. We were in the inaugural year of a leadership program at the college where we both work. It was immediately obvious that Howie and I have little in common. He is faculty. I am staff. He's old enough to be my dad. I'm the same age as his son. He is a seasoned professional. I am fairly fresh. He is a RIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT Wing Republican. I lean more left. He is Jewish. I am... not Jewish. He is outspoken. I am quiet and reserved.

Ok - that last part is not true. Really the only thing we have in common is we both are fearless in speaking our mind. Which is probably why he initially drove me crazy. Here was this older, adjunct faculty member who felt the need to constantly provide his point of view, which was NEVER the way I saw things. He would ruffle my feathers, really challenge my point of view. And sometimes I couldn't get a word in edgewise -- which was REALLY IRRITATING -- especially because he was WRONG. I'm not sure what it was about me that caused him to seek me out as a friend -- because I saw us as so.... different. But over time, through our one on one conversations I have come to truly value the unlikely friend that I have in Howie.

Howie is now retired from teaching. This is his first year in his new role as retiree. I don't think the transition has been an easy one. He'd rather be busy... so he's keeping himself busy trying to learn how to relax. (If you can call writing a book relaxing...) But his "free time" has given us time to connect on Facebook, over email, and an occasional lunch or phone call. While I still disagree with most of his political views (Howie, The problem is the system -- not the guy who you like to call "President Inept")... In Howie have found a constant friend, a cheerleader, a mentor, and more.

Howie is someone who offers advice on the inner workings of the college we both love -- he offers insight (and support) in my new role as a parent, and he is someone who cheers on my attempts at writing. In return, I think that he values my perspective and what I bring to the friendship... I feel like I was able to offer him editing advice on his book "Incentive" - which you can (shameless plug) order on Amazon.com

So as I reflect on the past year of my life - Howie's continued friendship has been a wonderful gift... Looking back to when we first met, I don't think I would have picked him to be my friend... But I am ever so thankful that he decided to pick me. So to my friend Howie -- Thanks Homie!

What I'm Reading Now - Nurture Shock

It all started when I was walking through the campus bookstore and the book cover caught my eye. A funny little egg, cracked, with a band aid over it. What WAS this book all about? Nurture Shock - New Thinking About Children... Turns out it was written by an author I had read before - Po Bronson (What Should I Do With My Life? -- turns out no one really knows... and in the end, the book was a bit depressing and unrewarding - but, well written). I was intrigued - and made a mental note to check into the book on Amazon.

And then, when I returned to the office, I had an email from Po Bronson. I must be on some sort of list that I don't remember ever signing up to receive. The email referred me to Newsweek. He and his co-author of Nurture Shock had written the cover story for Newsweek. It was about the creativity crisis in America and what to do about it. Not gonna lie - it felt a little serendipitous. So I jumped onto Newsweek, read the article, and was impressed. Then I went to Amazon and ordered the book.

The book arrived about a week ago. I've continued to be amazed ever since. The first chapter discusses the inverse power of positive praise. Basically here is the gist. Many parents continually praise their kids for being smart. "Oh, Johnny -- you are so smart! Good job". And you would think that this would be a good thing... turns out - research shows that this kind of praise has the potential to be destructive. Kids who are constantly praised for being smart are less likely to take educational risks - for fear that they might fail - and be seen as "not smart". Additionally, these same kids are less likely to stick with something they are bad at -- put in additional effort to master a difficult task - because they assume that being smart - or good at something should come easy to them.

The book states that instead, parents (and teachers) should praise kids for their efforts, and give specific examples in the praise. Kids who had their effort praised were more likely to stick with something difficult - and put in effort to work through the difficulty. They were also more likely to attempt challenging tasks that they knew would be very difficult and where there was a high chance they might not do very well.

Another chapter in the book addresses the issue of diversity. It turns out that kids in diverse classrooms or schools are LESS likely to have cross-racial friendships. The authors give specific examples of how parents need to talk to their kids about race. (i.e. we can't just assume that because the classroom is diverse that our kids "get" racial differences -- we need to be much more direct in our conversations.)

One chapter specifically addresses the issue of sleep in kids - Our school aged kids are getting 1 hour less sleep a night than they did 30 years ago. The cost? IQ points lost, ADHD, obesity, and problems with their emotional well being.

I don't want to give you the play by play of the entire book... Suffice it to say that over and over I've been fascinated by the information (and the science behind the information) in this book. I'd recommend it as a thought provoking (and relatively quick) read for anyone who is a parent or who works in K-12 education. I think you'll learn new information that may change some of your interactions with children. Or perhaps you're one of the lucky ones doing things completely right - and you will feel validated in your parenting/ teaching style!

And if you enjoy the book - here is some especially great news... The Metropolitan State College of Denver will be bringing the authors to campus on October 28th of this year. You could come hear the authors for yourself (the event is free) and even get your book signed! (yes, this is a shameless advertisement more information as the event day looms closer - humor me.)

Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman are weekly contributors to Newsweek - several of their articles are archived online as well - if you enjoy their work... you can be kept busy for a while. I've been trying to work my way through the list in all of my free time... all five minutes of it!Let me know if you pick up the book and read it. Or if you have read it already -- I'm also interested in your thoughts on the creativity (and other) articles in Newsweek.

The Challenge of Nicknames

What is it with people feeling the name to give our children nicknames? Lately, several well- meaning, very loving people in Sweet Pea’s life have decided to give him a nickname that is like nails on a chalkboard to me. And I’m struggling with how to address it. And it needs to be addressed or I might go crazy – I’m just not sure how to do it in a loving, respectful way.

This may be the only time you see my use my son’s name in this blog – as I feel it is necessary to protect his privacy. I am writing about him for my own emotional health – and it seems only fair to keep him mostly anonymous. But I’m not sure I can truly share the story in a way that makes sense without sharing the specifics.

My son’s name is Reese. It tends to be a more gender-neutral name these days – what with Reese Witherspoon being so famous. My husband and I both agreed upon the name, but we went into this whole parenting thing knowing that people might initially be confused as to whether Reese is a boy or a girl. It’s easy enough to correct the people that tell us that our little girl is so cute… But what I wasn’t expecting was for family members and daycare staff to call my son Reesey. I am not a fan of this nickname. To me, it is like nails on a chalkboard.

In the first few weeks of my son’s life, my husband also attempted to use this nickname. It was easier to address his poor nickname judgment. I simply said. “oh hell no! We will not call him Reesey.” And that was the end of that. But, for some reason, it is a harder conversation to have with other people involved in Reese’s life. I don’t want to appear harsh, or rude – especially when I know they are addressing him out of love. And I love that all of these well-meaning people love and adore my baby.

A friend with whom I shared this frustration (in an attempt to find a solution) asked me why I dislike Reesey so much. For one, it’s not his name. If I wanted his name to end in “ie” or “y” I would have given him a name that ended that way. And someday my little boy will be a young man – and nicknames have a way of “sticking”… especially in family settings. I’d like to give him a leg up on being called by his name so that when he attends school, he feels confident to tell kids that his name is Reese – not Reesey. If I can’t gather the confidence to have the conversation with people in my life, how can I ever expect it of him?

So, I’ve been working on my strategy (and on my courage) to address this with people when it occurs again. I feel like it is my responsibility as a parent to establish what my son is to be called… lest we end up with 50 year old man still called Reesey. Wish me luck!